Pray for Me Child that I Might Break Out..

cause I'm all alone again, crawling back home again... -Damien Rice.

I was reminded that maybe i should write a final blog concluding my travels thus far in the Netherlands and across Europe. I think this is a good idea, now that i have had time to process everything emotionally and come to terms with reality. Maybe i will be able to coherently write down some thoughts for you now.

I give way to a sigh of regret for leaving Europe at times. The experiences i had there were immeasurable to anything i have experienced in life yet. I felt alive there, complete and full in a way i could only explain to another who has felt such vivid beauty in life. Every moment's touch was an experience of divinity, tingling the senses, and exciting the emotions. I was alive there. I was free. I feel in love with a new way of being, a new culture, and new people.

I lived my last days to the fullest, soaking every moment up into my mind like a sponge threatening to give way in its over saturated state. I rode my bike around Rotterdam with my good friend Bernice. We ran around, taking photos of us doing crazy kid like things, jumping on HUGE stone sculptures, grabbing Fries from the eatery in the middle of the pedestrian only shopping district, and rummaging through the sales of the season. The weather was perfect my last days. I saw the best sunset ever one of my last nights there. God i miss those.

No matter how beneficial my experience was abroad for me, i know, that coming back home is one of the most important parts of one's journey. It allows for another level of personal development, of deeper understanding and a fresh perspective on an all too common aspect of reality that seemed to have faded away into the past. I received a magnet for Christmas that sits on my fridge right now that reads, "Home is where your journey begins." That statement holds deep truth in it because one can never find truth without leaving the comfort of their home and nest. One needs to be tested and strained, placed in new and often uncomfortable situations because those provide the best experiences for living life, and for gaining insight into yourself and others.

There have been some truly amazing personalities, and people who i have come across in my travels. These people shine out like jewels to me for their character, uniqueness and outlooks on life. The greatest misfortune in not having those people with me here. But i know I'll always have them as a friend, and i can always return...

as for now, back to studying. 3 months until I graduate!

I hate waiting on hold...

So right now I'm sitting on my bed, waiting on hold, and listening to my music play over the loop of advertisements spewing from my call to HP on my headset. There apparently is a defect in certain models of their pavilion models where the left hinge on their notebooks comes lose, cracks and pops, and cracks the screen open. Of course all three are happening to my laptop as well. But no worries. I just got off the phone after 40 minutes and everything should be taken care of soon enough.

It truly is amazing how fast life passes you by. I feel like just yesterday i was preparing to leave to come here and now i feel like its almost time to get up and go again. It's enough to make one emotional. I've really enjoyed my experience here and I've learned so much about not only myself but the world that i live in, and it is absolutely amazing. If you haven't seen it yet, i encourage you to before you never get the chance to do it again.

All the things we see in life and every turn life takes never steals from the experience, it only makes it that much more unique, never taking; only adding.

"Seize the moment of excited curiosity on any subject to solve your doubts; for if you let it pass, the desire may never return, and you may remain in ignorance." -William Wirt

home so soon.. see you guys then!

Paris

There is no pleasure more simple than walking down a street, content and full of life. Paris has revived me. This city... is phenomenal. I love the city of love.

America...

...this thought will be complete come election results..

Each of us has an original way of being human

"There is a certain way of being human that is my way. I am called upon to live my life in this way, and not in imitation of anyone else's life. But this notion gives new importance to being true to myself. If I am not, i miss the point of my life; I miss what being human is for me."

- Charles Taylor

The Politics of Recognition.

That is one small quote from this amazing class that I'm taking called, "Citizenship and Identity." Its taught by Tariq Ramadan, a professor based out of Oxford University in England. It is the most amazing course and course material i have ever taken and read. Truly inspirational.

Food..

Since I'm living on my own now, i think its time i start cooking. I've had an interest in food now for a while, so if any one could email me simple(r) recipes or some of their favorites that would be awesome! I really want to start learning how to cook. Keep in mind that i don't have an oven, but one of my neighbors does, its not a huge oven either, so yeah. Just email me at jhansen5@gonzaga.edu with any recipes! I'm hungry!! I'll be sure to post about my experience with the dish if you send me a recipe. Catch you later.

And the world spins madly on...

Life flies by you in the blink of an eye, and if you don't treasure the present, all you have left is the memories of the past.

It was hardly yesterday when i was a worried about going to College and moving into the dorms. The day before that i was worried about leaving high school and going into Running Start, but now look at me. I'm living all the way across the world in, on my own, in an apartment with a man from Nepal.

Tonight is a cool and rainy night; the first since I arrived here. It allows for a mellow atmosphere to settle over the all too busy city life around, and permits you to indulge in your thoughts. So i did just that. I made myself a nice hot cup of coffee and walked out onto my wet balcony barefoot. I think we live in comfort too much. We become disconnected in a way to our environment and how powerful it is because we protect ourselves from it, we dominate our environment. I stood outside feeling the cold stone under my feet and it reminded me that i was alive.

Memories flooded into my mind of all the rainy nights I've shared with others in the past; with friends over a cup of tea, walks, puddle jumping, long drives, and sweet lovers under covers keeping each other warm laying arm in arm... by all figurative means.

Quite plainly here, i outline my intent for writing. Twas to say thank you, to all of those who have helped shape me into who i was, and who I'm becoming in the days and years to come. Thank you for the endless hours you worked, so i can be where i am today. Thank you for staying, and not giving up. Thank you for listening, when i needed to talk. Thank you for caring when i needed support. Thank you for getting to know me, for who i really am. Thank you, Thank you for being a part of me, and most of all, Thank you all for staying close to me. I really do cherish and love you guys dearly. I wish i could do more, to show all my gratitude. But I'm a man of limited means, so this will have to do (for now).